EN’s Beat no. 6

EN’s Beat no. 6

Hello Family,

Thank you for supporting us with your gifts and time. You have truly made it possible for us to stay happy during this crisis. From bringing us food, to watching my siblings, to cleaning our house, truly God uses you to bless us.

If you did not know, I am now home. Although my problems are far from resolved God has brought us this far and shown us he has no trouble taking us all the way. That is right, God gives us power. Thank you for using God’s power, that he gave to you, on us. That makes me happy. To be forthright, I love you guys.

Yesterday I WAS DISCHARGED, it was a fine occasion. It made my parents and I so happy. We drove for about two hours in traffic till we arrived at our house. God blessed me by having my two siblings there.

In my last post I wrote about nauseousness; feeling sick all the time. Being at home the bouts with nausea are still there. I am still sick but I get to be in my own bed with my whole family near by. This brings me to the end of my post.

Although I am home, I still must wait till I  a new heart is found. Then, I will feel better.

Right now I must rest……………

Psalm 127:2  Look it up while I take a nap.

IMG_8181.JPGThat was a fulfilling nap. Pretty much all these days I am sleeping and recovering. God is using this time to give me rest. God is using this time to bless me. I am His beloved.

God is using my sickness to bring out the Goodness in others. To me, seeing all these good people doing good things, because they love God, is worth it all. I am praying for you guys too. And you reader, thank you for supporting my family. I know that you are praying for us.

Everyone is dying, God cares for them all. I am getting tired. Rest.


Momma Note: Tools to Overcome our Fears

We were all nervous about leaving the excellent care at UCLA and when Ian became more nauseous we almost stayed one more night! Dr. Kanchi encouraged us to overcome our fears… fears that would still be there tomorrow if we didn’t face them today. We talked about our resources, plans, and support to manage Ian’s continuing symptoms and they all seemed to know that HOME would be good medicine.  What great advice to help us overcome our fears. The only way to make them go away was to conquer them today!

We can cast our fears on Him because He cares for us! Psalm 55:22 “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” This is not just a weak setting down of our fears. This is a casting, like throwing them as far as we can from us.  He’s there. It’s not always pretty looking either. I’ve had my ugly cry face times while casting them upon Him. He can take them. The Creator of the universe, the one who made Ian and I, wants to  hold them for me!

We also have a great tool of Gratitude. In Psalm 50:14,23  I learn that God does not want my sacrifice to try and manipulate Him or prove my trust in Him but He says, “Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you shall glorify me… …The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly, I will show you the salvation of God!” He knows that my choice to live with gratitude is a sacrifice and good medicine for me. All I have to say is “Thank You!” and “I need You!”

Here are a few things we are Grateful for:

God’s timing. We all got to experience a life giving week at Mt. Hermon before being admitted. Heart Failure, Testing for Transplant, Approval for Transplant all happened while Randy was off of work. We came home with 6 days to settle in, make the house safe for Ian before Randy heads back to work! That’s God’s amazing timing.

God’s Doctors, Nurses, Scientists, and Hospital Staff. I’m so thankful God made these men and women smart, kind, conscientious, thoughtful, experienced, encouraging, resilient, and gifted in their profession. I can tell they love what they do and they know how to do it. They have helped keep Ian alive and comfortable. They have trained us to help him too. Whew, I’m so thankful for insurance that will pay for their help!

God’s Family. We had tons of family and friends in Northern Cal, some we had just met at camp, who supported us daily with meals, company, prayer, distraction, and laughter. It’s summer vacation and friends and family were free to care for Micah, Kaiya with tons of meaningful activities. They even provided eggs for Kaiya to incubate, hatch, and cuddle! Our room was consistently filled with friends for Ian that helped make the 37 days of hospitalization delicious, bearable, even FUN! (UCSF:  CHOC: 103  UCLA: 92) Thank you for our home health nurse that loves the Lord and reminds us that God loves to answer prayer.

My Family. All of Ian’s cousins loved on Ian just right. Emily created the blog that gives Ian a place to express and be blessed. She brought photos she had taken from our Mother’s Day shoot that helped introduce us to our doctors and nurses. Big cousins drove far to visit him, especially when he wasn’t discharged in time for his own prayer night.  Ian has little ones to climb on him and say funny things. “See that necklace on the paper doll I gave you? That’s me saying ‘Aloha’ to you.” Aunties helped make Ian  his own room and took out lots of junkola. Uncle Paul and Auntie Lammy spent the night with Ian so Randy and I could have a break together. Nana added snaps or velcro to Ian’s t-shirts so he could wear his own clothes in the hospital. Bop Bop said, “Everybody has to love everybody in my family.” And everyone does.

We are still afraid of PICC dressing changes but will conquer them when it’s time. We will say, “Thank you for the PICC line that keeps Ian’s heart pumping. Thank you for the .5 dose even though he still gets tired, nauseous, short of breath and cold…because .5 allows us to be home.” We will say, “We need you to help us calm our hearts when we have to touch the PICC line. We need you to help us bring down Ian’s symptoms. We need help to live one day at a time and find Your nearness and Joy.”

Thank you for another day!

DAY 10 on the list!




3 thoughts on “EN’s Beat no. 6

  1. Wahoo for En’s Beat no.6, so thankful you are home with your family, God is good and does good! May He continue to give you His strength, rest, and peace. I recently read a devotion from the Daily Bread which reminds us, in a nutshell, not to look at those “giants” we face but to look at God who helps and defeats all those “giants” we face! We will keep praying and then pray some more! Our good Shepherd has truly used this time of change, pain, and uncertainty, to help my faith increase in the power, gentleness, and protection of our Sovereign Lord, to God be the glory forever and ever, love you all, the renteria family


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