Made it through day 35! Thanks Uncle Curt Scott for your help tonight. Ian suffers from nausea and restless leg syndrome almost around the clock. We are weary with the wait and sometimes agitated with the discomfort…
These cannot be helped with any change of medication right now so we are left to other comfort measures. Essential oils, (thank you Elizabeth for the diffuser) massage, percussion, ice chips, ice packs, and prayer.
His legs feel like ants are climbing all over him with razerblade feet. The remedy; slapping his legs hard and fast! Or deep deep tissue massage all over his legs. Curt massaged Ian for a couple hours or more and left around midnight thinking Ian was sound asleep.
As soon as I said goodbye, Ian woke up asking for more. Finally we got the nurse in the beating and that was way more fun for me. We got a tricep work out for another hour till Ian fell asleep.
So many of you want to know how he is doing, how you can help, if you can visit. I want to post more, and answer all those questions, but I am often called away to get water, get the urinal, ice chips, or bucket, slap his legs or massage his back, etc. It seems the comfort of having my hands on him is good medicine right now until the heart comes. It’s a really sacred time to be so near someone’s pain.
I am amazed at the caliber of doctors and nurses. They are smart, kind, attentive and wise.
When I mentioned that to Ian, after he heard they cannot do anything to stop the nausea he felt defeated and discouraged. “but they didn’t help me.”
It takes wisdom to know when to say “no”. And it’s especially hard to hear it when we live in pain, in an instamatic, egocentric, pill popping, prolific world, with resources all around us. It’s another lesson in delaying gratification that we don’t have a choice about. They said “No” for several reasons:
1. the other organ numbers still look normal.
2. Ian had two offers for high risk hearts in the past week. Both had other things they didn’t like about the offer. But hat his name came up is encouraging.
3. The VAD is a very intrusive, aggressive option that has a load of complications of its own.
It took wisdom to say No even though Ian is suffering so much. We can trust our doctor’s decision to not be more aggressive right now.
So, we Americans who are into our comfort, used to controlling our world so much, and avoiding pain at all costs. But we have to learn to trust God for something. For us it’s relief from pain. It’s trusting God for a new heart at the right time. It’s trusting God with Micah and Kaiya too.
For you it might be trusting Him for a new job, a mended relationship, A happy marriage, a wayward child. He may be giving you a “no” right now too. Will you choose to trust Him to make things happen, or will you take things into your own hands? The truth is, “No” is always hard to hear. But we always have each other and the Lord to journey with. I’m so thankful we have you to do this with. “Trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding. In all our ways, acknowledge him, and he will make our paths straight.”
He woke up again….