En’s Beat no. 13

En’s Beat no. 13

Hello Family, Continue to pray. Keep praying for health and saving graces for the whole world. Do not forget everyone going through hard times.

Keep praying

I know I haven’t written in while, mostly because I have been getting back into school and normaller life. Thank you for waiting, and sticking with my Blog so long. I hope to keep writing as soon as I can and finish my life better than when I started. When we pray we have a direct line to God and that is the closest we come. I need prayer just as we all need prayer, since the members of the body need to be healthy.

There is one body member who we all love. We all know him but he needs our attention now. We love him and I love him. Seriously, I think I love him second only to God.

Do not be alarmed, only cast your burdens to Jesus, as have I. I am not worried. Whatever  happens, God will take care of us.  You may be thinking who this person might be and what ails them. Ill or sick he is not, it just so happens that he has a serious tumor that must come out with surgery. He is scared of losing his hearing,  because the tumor is growing around those nerves. The nerves for his hearing are important to this man for his job and his heart longing. So pray he would keep his hearing and not be afraid of it. Again, cast your burdens to Jesus. In our church lives a body of people that are being Jesus with skin-on: they are being like Jesus. We owe it to the Crossroads family in our Journey through transplant and now brain surgery. It will be hard for a while but my family will make it through.

img_0017My Father’s tumor is large it has been growing for four years and he has started developing symptoms; hearing loss mostly. For a while he thought it was nothing, only age, he thought. But facial numbness alerted him to something more. Fortunately it is operable and he is has a scheduled surgery date, but there is a high chance my Dad will lose his hearing. Randall Rogers Worship leader may have to be Randall Rogers one eared worship leader. (Not super serious.)

He leads us through that gate so well ever Sunday. We know that he will not go away. By God’s grace Randy will continue to lead us. But this impacts his abilities. God is good. Through this time of trial we have grown a lot closer to him and understand more of him. we are more in debt to him now than before as he afflicts us and we enjoy it. We reap a lasting benefit. We also learned the great multitude of the Body of christ.

10365357_10152532353583769_7101888033892400474_o Randy leading worship at Mount Hermon a few years ago. Photo taken by G. Tagami

God engineered a long plan for this world and we are  grateful to be a part, but so are you. Do not let an absence of opportunity discourage you (or the absence of health problems) instead make opportunity. Get out, and speak if it takes yelling the news at a corner, then do it. If you really have no other option then just sit down and initiate a conversation with a random stranger. There are too many who do not know the real meaning of christianity.

Hope to God. Hope was the light at the end of the tunnel. Hope from the Lord is a lot weightier than anyone knows. It kept me from fear and from giving up. Hope that Dad would be all right and remember God has a plan and we need to get out there and tell everyone. Get away from entertaining yourself; from falling prey to the world. Instead be in this world, going out, initiating the conversation yourself. Be Strong, Courageous and Hopeful, be Good and Kind, be Prayerful.

Everyone is dying, lets get them a ticket to heaven.

Everyone is dying, do not waste any time.

Finally as a word, I am sinner just like you. Do not fear in telling me your fears, or prayer requests. I am only God’s servant and friend, not an angel. All have sinned.

Everyone is dying, without God, we would be too. That is only a bit of his mercy.

NE

dsc03036Mommy Note:

Wow, Ian’s my Super Hero! I’m so proud of his heart and his trust in the Lord. I never know exactly what he’s going to say and how he’s going to say it. I did ask him to let you all know about Randy and I think he was the right guy for the job. Remember when I shared about being afraid of growing complacent? Ba ha ha ha ha!! No chance. I’m not complacent now.

I’ve been reading through the Psalms since the epic saga of heart failure began. They’ve given words to the emotions from my gut! They express my heart better than my words alone. While Ian was the sickest, I was in the Psalms of Lament… and I was lamenting! After transplant I just so happened to be in the Psalms of Praise! And I was praising! Now, I’m not sure what to call all of this. I feel like I didn’t finish Ian’s journey and we are starting another epic saga for our family. It’s so unbelievable, it’s gotta be from His hands! And then I got to Psalm 119 when Randy got his diagnosis…The Psalms continue to be my teacher, comforter, and voice!

img_0002Psalm 119: 75 says, “I know, O Lord, that your ways are Righteous, and that in Faithfulness you have afflicted me.”

That’s tough love, to receive affliction like heart failure and brain tumor from the hand of God. I don’t believe He did it to us to hurt us. I do believe it is part of living in a broken world that has been touched by brokenness and decay at every level. He allowed this, not viciously, but faithfully. None of us were meant to live forever here in the broken place. “We’re all dying. Some of us faster than others.” We were created to live in the whole and perfect place! Times like these make us question if we are ready to leave the broken place. They can even make us long for it. Then the trusting psalmist writes,

“Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant. Let Your mercy come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight.” v. 76, 77

For sure I am afflicted but not without the promise of His faithfulness and His steadfast love to comfort me. It’s a comfort all around me. It’s not just any comfort, like getting my way, or a warm bed, or a pretend escape like Haagen Dazs ice cream, shopping, drugs or denial. The comfort He has for me is according to the promises from an all powerful and sovereign creator. I want that. Because I have been meditating on His law, I know His character. His promises will be my best foundation while I hold on to these afflictions.

I’m not saying I don’t get afraid or hurt or lose sleep. I’m doing that right now! But I want to BE BRAVE. The verse right before this faithfulness in affliction says,

“Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice because I have hoped in your word.” v 74

I had to work out who all the pronouns belong to and if I could put myself in there.  For sure I can see many of you, those who Fear God, keep seeing God and His power in our lives through our Blog, through Ian, through my big laugh, through our marriage. I hear stories of how you have been more BRAVE and more prayerful because of our story. The Make A Wish lady told me I must be the strongest woman of all.  I don’t think so. I feel like the weakest but comforted by the strongest because I have believed God’s word, put my HOPE in God’s word, Loved His Laws and Trusted His ways. I could go through all the 10 Commandments and tell you how they rescued me while we were in the hospital… take me for a walk or a cup of coffee and lets talk!

When we prayed for Randy I was reminded of Dean Johnson’s prayer, “Lord, use me GREATLY or kill me QUICKLY.” Dean really means it, lives it, claims it. I’m trying to run towards it but with my eyes closed cuz it’s scary. I can’t see where I’m going when my eyes are shut… It helps me accept what we are going through and with the words of Psalm 119, it gives me HOPE in the midst of this affliction that He could use it to help us all REJOICE. Use me, Lord! His prayer is also me saying this is hard and if He’s not going to use me to bring Him glory through it….just take me home!

“Lord, use us GREATLY or kill us QUICKLY.”

Ian says, we’re all dying.  Death is the end of all man. Are you ready?

Jill

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6 thoughts on “En’s Beat no. 13

  1. The prayers of the saints (us) will sustain you and your family and I am praying many will come alongside you and hold you up as they held up Moses arms in battle. The battle is the Lords! I pray for you, for Randy and g ir Ian. God is your refuge. Hang on tight to Him. There is a song that Greater Vision sings called “God wants to hear you sing” I hope you can listen to it sometime. I love you even tho we’ve never met.

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  2. Dear Family, we are praying, tears roll down my face as the news of this tumor is a shock and I am distressed for you all; what words do I say to bring comfort, I have little…..but that the Holy One is the great comforter and along with my prayers, the Holy Spirit and Jesus are also interceding on your behalf…….. though my words are brief, how vast are the comforting words of the Holy Scriptures, thank you for your hearts to look to God, to trust God, to seek God, to walk according to God’s Laws, to know God, to be known by God, to choose Christ over self, to love God, to love others, love you all, xo the renteria family. “not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts.”. Zach. 4:6b

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  3. Hi, you don’t know me but I DO! We met at JAMS when you were just a year old. Our son was two so he has no memory. We caught up with reading of all of your writing during Thanksgiving holiday except our son who had to carry school work everywhere he goes (the third student of our home school). I cannot believe that the little baby is now teaching me how to trust and walk with Jesus. I love that! Keep on writing. We love you!

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